Even non-Jewish people know that a Jewish child will certainly have a bar mitzvah – if he is a boy that is. For a girl, it is called a bat mitzvah and, in plural, we speak of b’nai mitzvah. Bar meaning son, bat meaning daughter and a mitzvah is a Jewish commandment or precept. At root, b’nai mitzvah are about a child coming of age – at 12 years old for girls and 13 for boys. At this age, they are deemed to be ready to take charge of their lives and be responsible for their actions under Jewish Law (obviously, this applies to religious aspects and does not override the Constitutional laws of the land).
No matter which variation of Judaism the parents adhere to, b’nai mitzvah are important milestones in the life of Jewish children. The religious rites and ceremonies will take place in the synagogue and these will be followed by a celebration. The celebrations will vary depending on the nature of the parents’ beliefs. Some may reward the child with a special outing or gift but, for a majority of Jews in the USA, some sort of party is called for.
Some parents can lose track of the party’s main purpose and use it as an excuse to impress family, friends and business associates at a “swanky” venue with lashings of food and an excess of alcoholic drinks; all to the accompaniment of music and dancing. However, the more caring parent will be aware that the party is to honour a 12 or 13 year old child. Yes, the old will have to be invited – especially the grandparents and other close relatives but the prime concern should on providing a most memorable celebration for the child. With this in mind, it would seem obvious to invite other children as well and include games that the youngsters can play.
The underlying seriousness of the occasion should not be overlooked and some respect will have to be shown towards the susceptibilities of the elderly so; the planning of bar mitzvah games in New York (or elsewhere for that matter) could be somewhat fraught. Maybe a job better left to experts in party planning who are also knowledgeable on matters Jewish?
